If you’re one of those people who has the FaceBook relationship status symbol that says “it’s complicated,” or you’ve ever uttered those words when your best friend asked you about your relationship, then there are certainly some things to do before you move forward. Things in life really don’t have to be that complicated.
Living in a complicated relationship will make life confusing, frustrating, and stressful. It matters not if the relationship is with a parent, child, family member, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, customer, or pet. If it is complicated, it is definitely unstable, and no one needs to be in an unstable relationship.
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Most of the time when relationships are “complicated” it is because someone or both parties are not being clear. Lack of clarity is when people do not engage in clear communication. An example would be two college students watching a movie, then the guy walks the girl home, gives her a hug and kiss on the cheek and tells her to have a wonderful night.
She is full of stars and emotion, only to be dropped to the ground when she sees that he is walking with another girl the next day. “Hey I thought we were dating?!” I “thought” instead of “Hey we are dating,” are totally different.
Living in a Complicated Relationship
Most things in life are simple. Even if you desire to rule the world, it begins with the goal of ruling the world. There will be little tasks and steps along the way, but as long as you’ve identified the objective, it gets easier from there. As you are living in a complicated relationship, you should define or identify what is causing the relationship to be a complicated one.
For instance, let’s say you’re dating a guy, ladies, and it is complicated because he has three other children with three other baby-mothers. Keeping up with the kids, their mothers, him, and his schedule is burning you out and is becoming frustrating for you to get consistency and commitment from him. The relationship complication has been identified. You cannot get as close to him as you want because he is demanded by three kids, three baby-mothers, and all of their schedules.
Lack of clarity towards you by him will only add to the fire. This is when you need to get clarity to your complicated relationship. Communication is key. Start with a simple conversation pointing out your points of frustration or unease and encourage truthful dialogue also. Much of the reason people can’t dialogue, truthfully, is because some people can’t handle too much truth in one setting!
Living in a Complicated Relationship Can Be Crazy
Depending on the person, they may have anger issues, either at the surface (meaning they get angry quick) or it is beneath the surface (they get angry and don’t show it in public). If you’ve tried to solve the complication and it results in argument or angry shouting bouts, then change your approach before you attempt to have them change theirs.
There is only complication because two parties cannot communicate clearly. Get rid of distractions, and promise to listen and hear each other. Get to the roots of the problem and give solutions that you can both agree on and keep. If you’re relationship is complicated because you’re waiting for the lady to finalize her divorce or for the guy to finalize his divorce, these are different types of complications.
One, we have to exercise more patience and wait for a divorce to be final before we move in. I mean think about how you’d feel if someone else was waiting at the door for you to move your things out or was already in while the divorce proceeding are going on.
The Only Fun with Living in a Complicated Relationship
If you wait until things are finalized, the complication is practically all gone. Second, getting with a divorced person is a challenge because they are human and will bring bags with them. Sometimes these bags are BIG and can get loud. Know what you’re getting into and the complication is also nonexistent as well.
Living in a complicated relationship cannot be fun unless you are a thrill-seeker in relationships. If that is the case, you wouldn’t be reading this article for assistance. Just know that complicated relationships can be made simple. You just need to find out what is complicating, make it simple by identifying the problem and giving and implementing a rational solution.
Author – Life’s a Game to Win